As his friends, family or co-workers, it’s very understandable that you would disagree with me while reading this. I would be too, I would defend him to the T if not more, especially within the first 8 months after we met in person. When we first met, Con was a normal gay Polish in a metropolitan area, at least he appeared to be a healthy, drug-free, funny, adorable, handsome, gymed often, living quite a young urban professional life style.

He moved to Hong Kong from some suburb Warsaw around 2008. Standing at an admirable 6 foot 1 with bright blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair, his charisma was abundance with poise, swag and charm. He bragged about being a girls-magnet since before he knew how to spell. Translation, he gets what he wants. Who doesn’t want to be a good looking tall-standing self-confident Caucasian in this state and age. It was not hard to believe especially in the most unpredictable way we started to build a bond, a bond at the time we were both thrilled and enthusiastic about. He always knows exactly what to say and soon enough my guard disappeared and we became very at ease with each other quickly.

A strange and unexplainable fact, you can brush it off and roll your eyes to say it’s just a coincident, but it made me to believe fully of the existence of fate — both my boyfriend at the time and Con were born on the EXACT time (maybe just a few hours apart, as Poland is 7 hour ahead of NY.) Con’s birthdate was on the 25th, and my NY boyfriend’s birthday was the 24th of the same EXACT month of the EXACT same year. My goosebumps freaked out as much as I did when I first found out, I remember I was thinking if it was a test or a prank, and I asked Con three times to confirm of his birthdate.

In hindsight, like what I have mentioned in the introduction, his self-confidence was the headline admirable attraction; I would never in a million years to witness this ticking cancer bomb morphing into a self-absorbed narcissistic sociopath. Cliche and strangely enough, all you need is adding some illegal substance abuse. Viola, perfect recipe to turn the best guy into a Gremlin. We didn’t meet over that summer or fall, Thanksgiving Christmas went by and 2013 was wrapped. We stayed on virtual communication; yes strictly penpal contact! He was prompt, a perfect gentleman, thoughtful, pleasant, positively mature and extremely attentive are not enough to describe how sincere he was at this point. Since day one we have met online, I have always been honest on my position of my monogamy boundary. His SMS swept my feet off, i.e. “I cannot wait to get my hands on your ass…” “I have never had such a big crush on someone I haven’t met in person!” “you are so Haaawt!” or “As long as you are not married i would fly to NYC to snatch you away from your boyfriend.” If you can imagine those spoken words in his high pitch voice with heavy polish accent; it was uniquely charming. After months of flirting, chatting, maybe because the entice of the forbidden tree, or maybe it’s his over the top gestures and sugar-coated flattery in a persistent way, maybe I was just hanging on to the idea of “THE ONE,” I ended up cheating on my relationship and met up with Con. We decided to meet up at Icon Hotel on a Thursday evening in April 2014 after one of his business trip. Sparing the details except it sparked a fire, the chemistry between us was beyond anything I had experienced before. Before we stepped out the hotel room he couldn’t stop kissing me. His immediate SMS from taxi ride home he claimed he was scared because he loved every second of our few hours of gathering. From this point on, we were pretty much soaked with fuzzy warm feeling all the time. When we had to depart from each other after a short meal or motel meet up, we were like two wet blankets tangled together, we kept turning our heads to see if the he or I would turn around to see our back shadow fading away. See the Whatsapp screengrabs on this page. Before you know it, an 1-night stand would turn into a full-blown half-baked affair. Not too much sooner, in the second act the BAD will show what this affair had brought upon — it’s the beginning of years of emotional, health, mind and financial torture.

He once humble enough said he isn’t too good of a person. I should’ve believed him and walk away, but instead I defended him to the T at the time. Why? Because he was a million dollar to me, he presented himself with poise, such a non-threatening gentlemen; offering to pay before you pull out your wallet; he would accompany you to shop at IKEA to offer his expertise; SMS you before you wake up, making sure saying good night before your eyes shut.

Soon, when he wanted to be closer, he would tell you all calamities befall him, he suffers from many many rounds of misfortunes from unrewarding work life in Asia; misunderstood by his lover(s) who he always uses a set of standardized descriptions: immature like tween girls; yep too much and never listen; throw crazier tantrums worse than toddlers. He would tell you how much he had given especially financially but remunerated with endless extreme unjust opposition and condemnation. Those speeches addressed and explained his cases effectively, so extremely convincing coming from such a handsome victim’s face you almost forgot to ask why there were so many of his pass relationships and incidents faulted, had ended up in court or went against him. If we are in an open court, he would be the alleged defendant trying to sell the jury he is the front and center innocent, misunderstood victim who was setup for failure because he was too kind and trustful. He would proactively praise you, munificently shower you with what you love to hear in the most effortless ways, that you are the best at what you do, that your hello SMS has made his day. If you are lucky, he would surprise you with one or two extremely generous gifts to secure your trust, trusting that he is a great great friend, partner or lover. He started to frequently use a line stolen from me, “You are the BESTEST!” He picked up a lot of my good attribution, he is a fast learner, he learned many skills I have from social interaction, in bed, also my knowledge and noticed my expertise so picking my brain to enhance his work.

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